**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
