HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
