Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
