just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
