im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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