So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
