I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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