It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
