You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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