Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
