Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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