yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
