Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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