therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
