Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
