i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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