I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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