he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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