Where did you get a picture of my penis
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
