these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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