I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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