dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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