ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
