Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
