my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
