fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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