Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you inspire me to be a worse person
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
