She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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