I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
