I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
