wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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