Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
