Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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