Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we're making bets on your personal life
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
