So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
