Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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