in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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