I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
