Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I feel great
I just peed on a car
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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