Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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