It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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