there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
