I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
