I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
