Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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