Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
