His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i came on her dog
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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