Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
