There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
