I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
