We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
